Why are you doing this to us, God? Are we video game players envoys of Satan and that is why you torment us again and again with terrible conversions of video games taken to the movies? Why isnāt there any director capable of making a good movie based on a video game with a good plot? The crisis, I guess.
Letās go in parts. Unlike other films like āResident Evilā, in which they completely change the style of the video game, in Max Payne they try to maintain it, although they end up making a very strange mix between an action film and a film noir, not knowing how to maintain balance in either part.
The plot is the same as the first game, only tweaked as only the fools at Tontowood know how to do. They bring in singers and actors who have no idea how to perform and they end up with a mess in the purest High School Musical style.
Mila Kunis, a good-looking girl (I think calling her an actress is too much) is the one who plays the charismatic and enigmatic Mona Sax. Unfortunately, in the film she is neither enigmatic nor charismatic; They are simply a pair of crying tits with legs. Unfortunately they didnāt listen to me when I proposed āLa Mona Chitaā to play this role, because I think it would have been more credible.
Jim Bravura, the detective who was after Max, is played by the black rapper (I think in this case it is important to highlight race) Putagris Ludacris, the new Kingpin of 20th Century Fox. But I get it, if they donāt put a black man in the movie it becomes racist.
Jack Lupino is Sucre from Prison Breakā¦ with two machetes. No comments.
Max Payne, played by the stick insect named Matt Damon Mark Warlberg (if I paid to see the movie, I have the right to write his name however I want) has no charisma, no expressiveness, no āna de naā. Where is the crazy face? I admit that he has the bastard face, but what about the crazy one?
As I said before, and I repeat now, the argument is the same but tweaked. It neither begins where it ends, nor ends where it begins. Key characters who appeared in the game, such as Alfred Wooden, who in the game was the one who prevented Max from being found guilty, do not appear. Nor the helicopter at the endā¦ Unlike the game, they leave the plot open in the purest Resident Evil style, including characters that matter absolutely nothing, like Nicole Horne. Also, the Valkyr theme is sooooo exaggerated that it ends up boring (I guess they would need an excuse to put in heavy-duty special effects).
Finally, I donāt want to leave aside the painful editing of the film, which seems to be made by 5-year-old children and aimed at the mentally retarded to understand it.
In short, it could have been a lot, but in the end it was water. Save your movie money and download the movie, because I wouldnāt pay almost 6 euros for a trick of this caliber.
PDTA: We were 6 people in the cinema on opening dayā¦ touch your balls.