¿Cansados de votar siempre a los mismos partidos? ¿Cansados de que os engañen una u otra vez y de que los políticos no cumplan lo que prometen? Si habéis respondido afirmativamente a alguna de estas preguntas, os presento la solución al problema: votad al dios primigenio Cthulhu en las próximas elecciones europeas y todos vuestros problemas desaparecerán.
Cthulhu always delivers what he promises. Rest assured that electoral promises such as world domination, the destruction of the human race, solutions to pension problems or the real estate crisis will not remain in vain, rest assured.
Below I leave you with part of their electoral program, which you can read in full here.
EMPLOYMENT
Cthulhu promises that upon his coming he will work hard for world domination and the return of the arcane powers that ruled the earth eons ago. With the widespread destruction of the human species, employment will no longer be necessary. However, the few humans who survive the cataclysm of His advent will be destined for slavery and servitude among the races of the Deep Ones.
RELIGION
Cthulhu is monotheistic and only believes in one deity: Himself. The rest of the religions will be persecuted and annihilated unless the respective gods make an appearance and manifest themselves as He Himself does in these elections. In that case, he will first annihilate said gods and then his followers.
DEMOCRACY
It is common knowledge that the democratic system is falling into deep decline. Cthulhu does not believe in the continuation of the two-party system and its unhealthy tendency to perpetuate its errors. That is why the advent of Cthulhu will mean an eternal reign of terror and chaos in which the situation will be so terrible that democracy will once again seem like a great option, regaining its value. Unfortunately, for humanity it will be too late.
So now you know, if you don’t plan to vote this Sunday or vote blank, give horror god Cthulhu a chance. Because we Europeans deserve something better, a representative of the future (past and present too, which is immortal). One point in his favor is that he will carry out his electoral program to the letter, and even if he drives us to madness (and does not cause us orgasms), he will surely not do it any more than a normal candidate.
(Source Miskatonic)