In the courts of Madrid, some of the most varied and surreal situations have taken place in recent years, with absurd questions from the lawyers, and answers, if possible, even more absurd. Here is a compilation of a few of them, which have been published in the magazine of the Bar Association of the Community of Madrid. Totally true (supposedly).
Were you present when the photo was taken?
Were you alone, or were you the only one?
Was it you, or your younger brother, who died in the war?
Did he kill you?
How far apart were the vehicles at the time of the collision?
You were there until he left, werenāt you?
Question: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on deceased people? Answer: I performed all my autopsies on deceased people.
Question: Each of your answers must be verbal, okay? What school did you go to? Answer: Verbal. (Laughter and humorous comments in the room)
Question: Did they shoot him in the middle of the mess? Answer: No, they shot me between the butt and the navel.
Question: Do you remember the time you examined the body? Answer: The autopsy began around 8:30 p.m.
Question: Was Mr. PĆ©rez Tomilla dead at that time? Answer: No, I was sitting at the table wondering why I was doing the autopsy. (The Judge has to impose order in the courtroom, the commotion is tremendous, laughter is heard everywhere)
Question: Doctor. Before performing the autopsy, did you check for a pulse? Answer: No. Question: Did you check blood pressure? Answer: No Question: Did you check for breathing? Answer: No Question: So it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy? Answer: No Question: How can you be so sure, Doctor? Answer: Because his brain was on my table, in a jar. Question: But could the patient nevertheless have been alive? Answer: He may have been alive and practicing law somewhere.