Manu asked himself that same question in the faculty forum. Would you choose IT again? My answer is clear: I doubt it. As suspended said, âit is too much sacrifice for so little benefit.â
I had wanted to study computer science since I was 10 years old, and at no point in my life did I consider studying anything else. Unlike the rest of many people, when I was little I liked to âmess aroundâ with the computer, change this, change that⊠I was interested in everything that was related to software, hardware, although at that time I had no idea what those words meant. At that moment I felt like someone special.
Now, Iâve been in college for two years and I donât feel that special. I knew when I entered that it was not going to be a career that consisted of spending all day in front of a computer, surfing the Internet or anything like that. I knew there would be math subjects, which I never liked and always found difficult and annoying. The truth is that I always saw these subjects as a simple blip, but now what I see is a mountain. It seems to me that the contents of these subjects do not adjust in the slightest to what companies demand or to any job in which you have a minimum of possibilities of working. Personally, I feel really frustrated with a particular subject, and after having studied it three times, the time I got the highest grade was the first call when I had no idea about it.
Many times I come home afraid. I arrived afraid of becoming disgusted with the greatest of my hobbies, computing, which gave me such good times throughout my life. I wonder if it wouldnât have been a mistake to enter, if I shouldnât have chosen other types of studies that had to do with computing and my concept of computing, studies that wouldnât cause me all these doubts that I have at the moment.
I have no motivation, and to tell the truth I think I havenât had it for two years. People who I think could help me, help me gain that confidence that I lack, only react in a bad way when I say that I have doubts about what I do. I think sometimes there are better ways to get someone the results you want without yelling, arguing, pouting, and saying things under your breath.
So much effort and suffering for what? To end up working in a cubicle? So that everyone around you thinks they are superior to you? So that they treat you like trash while you work your ass off working 4 or 5 times harder than anyone around you, undervaluing yourself and all the hard years of work it took you to get a degree? This is not how I want to end.
The truth is that I am afraid of making decisions that I know would change my life a lot, something that I imagine is normal in this life, even more so without knowing if said decisions are correct or not. But if there is one thing I donât regret, it is having been here for two years, and having met all the magnificent people I have met, whose names I donât need to say because they know who they are. Whatever you choose, the time spent with them will be forgotten without anyone being able to take it away from me, and it will have been worth it. Anyway, sooner or later I will have to make a decision, I just hope that when I do it is the right one.